My mom was the absolute best mom, and when I think about how to describe her to people who didn’t know her, there’s just so much to say. She wasn’t the mom that cooked dinner every night, she wasn’t the mom who was crafty and made keepsake items, she wasn’t the cool mom who knew all the new trends and new music. She showed her love in her own way, and that way was perfect for me and my sister.
My mom always treated me as a person, not as a child. I don’t mean that she didn’t discipline me or have rules, but she valued my thoughts and opinions. She was a great listener, and she actually remembered all the minute things I would tell her. She never trivialized the things I was experiencing; she always made me feel like I was important and that I mattered, and the things I cared about or was interested in also mattered. I see all these quotes now about being involved with your kids and devoting 100% of your attention to them when you’re with them. My mom never needed to be taught that. It came naturally for her.
My mom was a jack of all trades. She always worked, and while my dad worked for the same company for about 30 years, my mom changed jobs often. Because of this she knew a little, but most of the time a lot, about a lot. So many times since she’s passed my sister and I have said, “You know who would know the answer? Mom.” She worked as a receptionist for an OB/Gyn clinic, she was a medical transcriptionist for radiologists, she was a special Ed paraprofessional, she taught preschool, she worked at the ABC store, and she worked in almost all our county offices: Parks and Rec, Treasurer, Building and Planning, and Utilities and Works. What time does the dump close? What’s an HSG? Is the ABC store open on Sunday? When does spring soccer sign up start? When are personal property taxes due? How big can an ag structure be? She was like our own personal google, and that was just the realm she knew from working the jobs she had. She was smart and could learn anything she set her mind to. She always helped me study, even in college, by quizzing me on my study guides. She always told me she could only help me in school with spelling, but that wasn’t true, she learned with me and Kasey as we grew up.
My mom was an empath before it became this common buzzword. Growing up, my mom moved around a lot. She always said how she hated moving and that it was difficult to keep making new friends. She also said she was picked on for things like her clothes and her thick, southern accent after she moved to Virginia from the Carolinas. So as an adult she always went out of her way to make everyone feel included. She was always buying candy bars to give to her UPS drivers, mail ladies, and coworkers. She could talk to anyone and was quick to compliment others. If you knew her, at one point she probably told you, “You’re the best!” Or sent you a card or text saying it. (This is just one of the reasons for the blog name.) She had the biggest, brightest smile and constantly exuded positivity. I always joked with her that she had a face that said, “Please spill your guts to me,” because she would end up in these deep conversations with people she just met. I think people must have felt safe with her, or maybe she just made them feel like they mattered, like she did for me when I was a child.
My mom was the most supportive, encouraging person I knew. She allowed my sister and I to do and try anything and everything we wanted to. Growing up she let me try ALL the sports. She took me shopping to buy all my gear, took me to every practice, attended all my games, and helped me practice at home. She taught me how to do a cartwheel so I could make the cheerleading squad in middle school, she learned to keep score when I played softball, and she caught for me when I practiced pitching at home. She signed me up for tap and ballet, bought me leotards and ballet shoes just like she had done for my sister… and I refused to go. 😂 She took me to gymnastics, karate, track practice, and field hockey conditioning. She never told me I couldn’t do something or she wouldn’t support it. She picked me up from school every time I was sick. Even those days in kindergarten when I wasn’t sick, I just didn’t want to go to art class because my teacher was mean. 😂 She brought me my homework, lunch box, back pack, (insert any school item) to school because I would forget my stuff ALL the time. She choreographed a dance routine for me and my friends for an elementary school production. She took me to school and picked me up everyday. She always stood up for me and my sister when it came to issues at school. Mom always joked that we probably had stars next to our names because of her. She advocated for us so that we could take the classes we needed to take or to get our classes switched so we would have the best teacher. She wasn’t a helicopter parent by any means, but she was involved because she cared about us and knew we would succeed.
While my mom was always supportive and always made sure we knew we were loved, she made sure we grew up to be good, decent people. Growing up, we were spanked, we got soap in our mouths (blue Dawn, I can still taste it), we got sent to our rooms, we got our favorite items taken away (toys, phones depending on the age). But the thing my sister and I reference the most was her nagging. Mom would nag the hell out of us, and my dad too. I can hear him saying, “Okay, Cindy, okay!” I think mom’s basic goal was for us to not be assholes. She wanted us to be considerate, treat other people well, and to focus on what was really important. Whenever Kasey and I see or hear someone doing something mom wouldn’t put up with, we say, “What would mom be saying if that was us?”
There are so many things I love about my mom and try my best to emulate. I feel like since she’s passed, talking to people comes much easier and I don’t know if it’s because I’ve grown as a person since she’s passed or because there’s a part of her that’s with me now. Maybe it’s a combination of both. I think of what she would say in each decision I make, especially the big ones. I think of her when I’m learning new things. I think of her as I get older and realize all the things she had done in her life by the time she was the age I am now. And I hope that I was able to make her feel the way she made me feel all my life.
BeST,
Brittany
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