If you know me, you know I am an avid reader. I’ve always loved to read, and I read any and all genres. Romance, self-help, thrillers, historical fiction, memoirs, I love it all. When my mom was sick I searched and searched for books to read that pertained to what I was going through, but I had a hard time finding just exactly what I was looking for. I wanted to learn as much as possible so I would know what to expect with her passing. I read one book when she was sick that really helped and one that was terrible, but then I struggled to find anything else that applied to my situation. When I started grief therapy with Kristi at Capital Caring, one of the first things I asked her was did she have a list of books about grief and loss that she recommended. She told me she did and emailed me a list. Below, I’ve listed the books I’ve read that have helped me process her passing... and the one I hated and don’t recommend. 😂
The first half of the list are books that would be good for anyone to read.
Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler
This was the first book I read about grief after my mom died. I stumbled upon it on the Overdrive website that my library uses for ebooks. David is an expert on grief and death, and also lost his son unexpectedly in 2016. His book was published in 2019, so it's relatively new. I enjoyed this book because I think most of us are all willing to go through suffering as long as we know it will be worth something in the end. This book helped me focus on the positive things that could happen in light of my mom’s death. 5/5 ⭐️
It’s Not Supposed to be This Way by Lysa Terkeurst
Lysa Terkeurst is a Christian author, and I have read several of her books. Some of her books I've liked more than others, but this one I liked. I actually read this book in the beginning of February 2021, when my mom was going through doctor's appointments to figure out what was wrong, and I would send her quotes from the book. This book is about Lysa's separation and divorce from her husband, but it could apply to many different situations. The book is about not focusing on your own worries and anxieties, but instead focusing on God's faithfulness. 4/5 ⭐️
When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner
This book was recommended to me by my mom's friends Arlene and Debbie while we were at mom's visitation. Arlene has cancer and Debbie lost her husband to a heart attack years ago. I bought this book and am still in the process of reading it. To me, it's more boring than the previous two books, but it's still very insightful. Kushner is a Rabbi who lost his son when he was a young teenager. The book focuses on evil in the world versus God's goodness. I will finish reading this book eventually, but I think it would be a better fit for someone like my dad, so I'll probably pass it along to him when I'm finished. 3/5 ⭐️
When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi
This book is a memoir of a young neurosurgeon with metastatic lung cancer. I read this book back in 2019 and forgot about it until I went to write this blog post. This book was heart wrenching, but easy to read. This book focuses on the things that make us human and what makes life worth living. 5/5 ⭐️
Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom
I read this in May 2021, about five weeks, after my mom died. I feel like everyone has heard about this book, and I definitely remember Oprah talking about this book and its author, Mitch Albom. It's about Mitch going to visit his old professor, Morrie, who is dying. I absolutely loved this book. Similar to When Breath Becomes Air, this book is talks about the little things that actually matter at the end of one's life.
5/5 ⭐️
Half Truths by Adam Hamilton
I am about halfway through this book, it's on my night stand right now. My mom had purchased this book a while ago, and I don't know if she ever finished reading it. It is about debunking common Christian sayings you hear that are actually not Biblical at all, like "Everything happens for a reason" and "God won't give you more than you can handle". I'm enjoying it so far because it lets me know that these sayings are actually not true at all, just humans trying to comfort each other with meaningless words. If you're sick of hearing these things, go read this book. 4/5 ⭐️
What Remains by Carole Radziwill
In all honesty I read this book because Carole was one of my favorites on Real Housewives of New York, and I love learning about the Kennedy family, but I've read this book twice now, and it is a great book. What Remains is a memoir about Carole dealing with husband having terminal cancer, and in the midst of his illness, her husband's cousin, JFK Jr. and his wife Carolyn, Carole's best friend, die in a plane crash. Her husband died just months later. This book is real and raw and I will probably read it many, many times again. 5/5 ⭐️
The second half of the list is for those who have lost their mothers.
Dead Moms Club by Kate Spencer
Favorite, favorite, favorite. I devoured this book in a few days, and it only took that long because I made sure I read it at home because it goes from laugh out loud, relatable, to tears streaming down your face, sadness. I passed this along to my sister immediately after, and she's started reading it and likes it too. Kate is sarcastic and witty, which is just my style. 5/5 ⭐️
The Mercy Papers by Robin Romm
This book was not quite as good as Dead Moms Club, but it was still good. It's not as light, it's definitely more sobering to read. It hits you right in the gut with the way she describes her mother's battle with cancer and how it affected her and her father. 4/5 ⭐️
Wild by Cheryl Strayed
I read Wild probably in 2015 or 2016, so way before my mom was sick, and after the popularity of the book had died down. I love the way Cheryl Strayed writes, and while the entire book is not about her losing her mom, it does focus on that aspect a lot. I still have this book, so I plan on reading it again to see how it resonates after losing my mom. 5/5 ⭐️
Golden Girl by Elin Hilderbrand
I love Elin Hilderbrand and so did my mom, and there are several of her books that are particularly meaningful to me. I read Golden Girl at the end of 2021, and it is about a mother who dies and then you get to follow her story while she is in heaven. I'm sure this book is based on Elin and her own battle with breast cancer and how her death may affect her kids, but it felt so personal to me as well. This was a great read and a unique way to think about what it's like for mothers on the other side. 5/5 ⭐️
Lastly, the book that is on lists everywhere, and was recommended to me, is Motherless Daughters by Hope Edelman. Like Finding Meaning, I also stumbled across this book on Overdrive, and later my grief counselor Kristi recommended it. I had the audiobook version, and I am not the biggest fan of audiobooks. It was the most painful book to get through. It was so depressing. The book talks about what it's like to lose your mother at different stages of life, and it interviews girls and women who have lost their moms. This book came out in 1994, and then they released a 20th anniversary edition, but it was so stiff and just felt really cold. If anything, this book is probably more beneficial to those that lost their mothers at a really young age because the author lost her mother at a young age. 1/5 ⭐️, do not recommend
I am constantly finding new books about grief and mother loss, so I have many on my to-read list. You can follow along at my Goodreads account.
BeST,
Brittany
Do you have a favorite book that helped you through a difficult time in your life?
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