This past Monday, July 18, was mom’s birthday. She would have been 58. I remember when mom was alive she would always say people dwell on days, but she missed her sisters every day. It wasn’t any different on their birthdays or the day they passed. I think of that often, especially on the really ordinary days when I miss her so much it hurts. But for some reason, leading up to this birthday had me and my family feeling incredibly sad. I would even say sadder than we were last year on her first birthday without her. It’s like we weren’t focused on her birthday coming up, but subconsciously we were.
Last year for mom’s birthday we went to the beach for a long weekend so we could all be together. It was probably the most relaxed beach vacation we’ve ever had. The day of mom’s birthday we went to the beach in the morning, and dad bought a birthday cake for us to have that evening. We attempted to sing Happy Birthday, but Allen, my brother-in-law, and Anthony had to carry us through on that one. Do you know how hard it is to sing Happy Birthday while you’re crying? It’s impossible.
This year mom’s birthday was much more low-key. I was lucky enough to be able to take off work, so Kasey and I took Turner and Clay to Westmoreland State Park. We looked for sharks’ teeth and swam, and Turner caught a bunch of fish. In the evening we went to dad’s. He made dinner and bought a birthday cake for dessert. This time we made the decision not to sing Happy Birthday.
I think it’s important to celebrate your loved one’s birthday after they’ve passed. If you would have done so if they were alive, I encourage you to do the same after they’re gone. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, but do something in remembrance of them. Write them a letter, buy a card you would have given them, do something they loved to do (or something you love to do, mom couldn’t swim and we keep ending up in the water on her birthday 😂), visit their gravesite if they have one, spend some time filling them in on what’s happened in the last year, eat some birthday cake, think about what you loved most about them or what you miss the most. Do whatever makes you feel close to them.
Happy Birthday Mom ❤️
BeST,
Brittany
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